For the past year, Toronto politics has become synonymous with tabloid headlines, as forward movement, city potential and the people our leaders have sworn to represent take a back seat to crack videos, racist tirades, near riots in council, and bait and switch candidate manoeuvres. It is safe to say, whether one is on the side of, or against, the Ford brothers, the people of Toronto are tired, and frustrated.
When you must face the fact you live in a city where your mayor goes on television and states “It says I wanted to eat her pussy and I have never said that in my life to her. I would never do that. I’m happily married and I’ve got more than enough to eat at home,” what can be done, as a citizen of Toronto to ensure things truly change? For one candidate in The Beach community, the answer was simple:
“I had been planning on entering politics when I turned 60, but a certain incident rapidly accelerated that timeframe. After Rob Ford said the word ‘pussy’, I witnessed Councillor Mary-Margaret McMahon either feign or actually experience a live on-air nervous breakdown. At that moment I felt that I had a duty to displace this weak, ineffectual, spineless bag of nerves.”
James Sears lawn sign
James Sears (running in ward 32) is focused on one thing, and one thing only; ensuring Ms. McMahon, who won her seat four years ago with 65% of the vote, is removed from office. Mr. Sears intentions are for the betterment of the ward, as he explains on his website: “She is obsessed with manmade global warming (which is a myth), riding on bicycles with gaggles of like-minded broads, and boasting the virtues of farmer’s markets serving up “local” produce (most of which I suspect is purchased at the Food Terminal by scammy grifter vendors then sold to the naïve public at grossly inflated prices). She has done a dismal job of representing the interests of both her constituents and the businesses in Ward 32. She is in over her head and should instead stay at home and bake cookies.”
In fact, Mr. Sears is SO determined to remove Ms. McMahon from office, he purchased the URL for marymargaretmcmahon.com, and has filled the site with such well thought through arguments like “… she conspired with other Marxist councillors to oust Mayor Rob Ford and create a de facto kleptocracy. Like drunken sailors they stole money from you through taxation, then emptied the public purse when you went working… She’s kind of like that cute, nutty yoga chick you shack up with (3 cats and a dozen granola recipes)– it never lasts because she’s on another planet!”
Well aware elections in 2014 need a technological edge, Mr. Sears has included a fun game on his campaign site. Entitled “Help Spank Mary-Margaret McMahon for Stealing Taxpayer Money”, players have the option of selecting which “Anti-Marxist Spanker” they would like to be- Rob Ford, Vladimir Putin, or Adolph Hitler. Once your character is selected, you can get to the spanking.
screen capture from James Sear’s spanking “game” which can be viewed on his candidacy website
But who is James Sears? If you live in Toronto, you may have heard of his alias: Dimitri the Lover- a love guru who has offered the men of Toronto the opportunity to learn his secrets on attracting women, and becoming the Casanova you have always dreamed you could be. But, before he was Dimitri the Lover, Mr. Sears was (according to a 2008 Toronto Sun article) a troubled child, with parents dealing with alcoholism and mental health issues. While in medical school at the University of Toronto, his “erratic” behaviour led to being evaluated by psychiatrists. A year later, Mr. Sears joined the armed forces, where he was evaluated by a military psychiatrist due to his behaviour. A female officer complained about Mr. Sears continually attempting to enter her room, and during the military police investigation, a can of mace, several knives, two empty smoke grenade canisters and a stun gun were found in his room. Even after repeating a year of medical school, Sears graduated as a doctor in 1988. Within two years, his questionable conduct led to a hearing by College of Physicians and Surgeons in 1991, and Mr. Sears pleading guilty to two counts of sexual assault, and having his licence stripped in 1992. It should be noted, however, Sears appealed the sexual assault charges, claiming his lawyers had pressured him into pleading guilty, and was acquitted.
From the ashes of a failed medical career, James Sears became Dimitri the Lover. Working out of Rancho Relaxo, a downtown bar, Dimitri charged men $40 for a weekday meeting. If one wanted even more tips, a $269 annual membership was available, or if you wanted the ultimate Dimitri the Lover package, you could pay $2,997 for a two-day workshop.
While playing the part of Dimitri the Lover, Mr. Sears became an early viral sensation, after he left two rather unique voicemails on the phone of a woman he met on King Street in Toronto. The first voicemail is rather basic, though Dimitri comes off a little greasy. The second however, is a much darker, and somewhat terrifying rant, which “the Lover” left after his first message was not returned. Offering the suggestion Olga, the woman he had met on the street was perhaps dealing with mental illness, or perhaps her mother having cancer as reasons for her not returning the call. Both voicemails can be heard here.
As a self-proclaimed “love guru”, Dimitri has some tricks I, as a man, had never thought of using.
On his website for what he calls “Toronto Real Men”, Dimitri explains his business- ”Dimitri The Lover is dedicated to teaching horny men how to detect, seduce, and enslave hot desperate sluts, and will answer all questions about dating, sex, & love.” The site includes rather amateur flash cartoons of large breasted women performing oral sex, and include one entitled “Avril Lavigne MFF 3-Way Animation”. An explanation of his own personal beliefs about homosexuality: “…homosexuals suffer from a ‘permanent sexual disability’ resulting from a congenital brain abnormality related to subjecting the pre-born human to hormones at an improper time during fetal development. …the ratio of the length of various fingers to one another is different in homosexuals than heterosexuals, that second born males are at a higher risk than their older brothers of acquiring the homosexual brain abnormality, and that lesbians have larger clitorises and c*nt lips than their c*ck-craving sisters.”
Honestly, at this point, I am too tired to carry on. Mr. Sears, Dimitri the Lover, disgraced doctor, shamed military history, and a horrifying continuous misogynist message almost seems too much. His twitter feed (which can be viewed here) are filled with campaign news (“I just saw Tarantino’s “FROM DUSK TILL DAWN”–Now as I slam WOODEN STAKES into ground for campaign signs I POP WOOD”), and “relationship tips” (“RELATIONSHIP TIP: Most women don’t volunteer LURID DETAILS of abuse by PAST PARTNER! If she does then she GETS OFF on it & WANTS it from YOU”).
Mr. Sears is now running for councillor of ward 32. In recent polling, Ms. McMahon is well on her way to winning her seat, with a giant lead over past councillor Sandra Bussin. There is no chance Mr. Sears will win this election. As a fringe candidate, he will disappear into whatever dark corner he calls home once the election has passed. I feel for Ms. McMahon, for Olga from the voice mail, for the military officer who complained about his attempts to break into her room, for the women who brought sexual assault charges against him in the early nineties, and the no doubt numerous women who have had to deal with Mr. Sears, or Dimitri the Lover, or whatever name he has felt suits his personality, over the years.
On his twitter feed, Spears posted the following today:
And honestly, that scares the crap out of me. James Spears will never understand these people are not Marxists, they are people disgusted by his behaviour, appalled by his broken logic, and astonished he would parade his damaged thoughts like it was common knowledge.
A supporter of Rob Ford, James Sears has proven at least one thing about his politician of choice- as messed up as the entire Ford brothers drama has been in the past year, there are individuals in Toronto (who also believe they are politicians) who are much worse, and much more worse.
Poiein 